The University of Central Valley announced this week the launch of its groundbreaking Bachelor of Arts in Professional Procrastination, marking the first accredited degree program designed to teach students the fine art of putting things off until tomorrow. The four-year program, which officials promise will actually take six to eight years to complete, covers essential courses such as Advanced Excuse Formation, The Psychology of Last-Minute Panic, and Masterful Time Mismanagement.
“We recognized that procrastination is no longer just a bad habit—it’s become a legitimate lifestyle choice that deserves academic recognition,” explained Dr. Margaret Delayworth, the newly appointed Dean of Postponed Studies. “Our graduates will be equipped with the theoretical framework and practical skills necessary to professionally defer responsibilities in corporate, academic, and personal settings.”
The curriculum includes innovative courses like “Creative Deadline Extension Techniques” and “The Art of Productive Distraction,” with the capstone project being a thesis that students are encouraged to start thinking about maybe beginning someday. Early enrollment has been remarkably slow, with most prospective students indicating they plan to apply “probably next semester or something.”
University officials report that construction of the program’s dedicated building has been indefinitely postponed, with contractors citing the need to “really think about it more” before breaking ground. The program is expected to accept its first students sometime in the near future, pending further delays.