Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
The squirrels of Maple Hollow Park have organized their first labor union, demanding pension benefits, rest periods, and an end to unauthorized nut theft.
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Local Man Discovers Trees Have Been Growing Without Permits for Decades
An amateur building inspector’s discovery that local trees lack proper construction permits has sparked a county-wide investigation into decades of unauthorized botanical development.
Local Tree Reportedly Tired of Being Hugged by Strangers, Files Restraining Order
A centuries-old oak tree seeks legal protection from constant embraces by strangers who mistake it for a therapy session.