Local Elementary School Introduces ‘Mystery Meat Chemistry’ as Official STEM Curriculum
A local elementary school has officially rebranded its notoriously unidentifiable cafeteria lunches as a hands-on STEM chemistry curriculum.
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Local Elementary School Replaces Recess With ‘Structured Disappointment Time’ to Better Prepare Kids for Adulthood
A local elementary school swaps recess for a new program designed to prepare students for a lifetime of minor, soul-crushing inconveniences.
Local Elementary School Replaces Recess With ‘Structured Disappointment Time’ to Better Prepare Kids for Adulthood
A local elementary school swaps recess for daily sessions of pointless waiting, calling it essential prep for the disappointments of adult life.
Local School District Replaces Textbooks with Motivational Posters, Test Scores Remain Exactly the Same
A local school district swaps textbooks for motivational posters, insisting eagles and mountain summits can teach algebra just as well as numbers.
Local School District Hires Consultants to Teach Children How to Play at Recess
A California school district has hired consultants to teach children the ‘correct’ way to play at recess, complete with worksheets and certification exams.
Local School District Replaces All Homework With ‘Vibes-Based’ Grading System
A local school district ditches homework for a new grading system based entirely on students’ ‘vibes’ and hallway presence.
Local University Introduces Revolutionary New Degree Program in Professional Procrastination
University launches first-ever degree program in Professional Procrastination, promising to teach students the academic principles of putting things off indefinitely.