Local Farmer Achieves Total Enlightenment After Staring at Corn for Fourteen Consecutive Hours
A local farmer achieved what he calls ‘total enlightenment’ after fourteen hours of uninterrupted eye contact with a cornstalk.
Agriculture
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Local Farmer Teaches Corn to Recognize Its Own Name, Now Refuses to Harvest It
A local farmer’s habit of naming every stalk in his cornfield has led to an emotional standoff that’s putting his harvest — and his finances — in serious jeopardy.
Local Farmer Achieves Enlightenment After Talking to Corn for Six Consecutive Hours
A Mapleton farmer claims six hours of one-sided conversation with his cornfield has left him more emotionally fulfilled than a decade of actual therapy.
Local Farm’s Organic Vegetables Reportedly Too Pretentious to Harvest
Heritage vegetables at local organic farm have become so pretentious they’re refusing to be harvested by anyone without proper credentials.