Local Farmer Teaches Corn to Recognize Its Own Name, Chaos Ensues at Harvest Time
A local farmer’s experiment in naming his corn crop has resulted in unexpected emotional complications at harvest time.
Agriculture
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Local Farmer Teaches Cows to Unionize, Now Negotiating for Better Pasture Views
A Wisconsin dairy farmer finds himself in tense labor negotiations after his entire herd of cows organizes into a union demanding better pasture views and shorter workdays.
Dairy Farm Hires Full-Time Bovine Therapist After Herd Reports ‘Milk Anxiety’
A Midwest dairy farm has hired a full-time therapist for its cows after claiming low milk yields were linked to unresolved bovine emotional trauma.
Local Farmer Achieves Total Enlightenment After Staring at Corn for Fourteen Consecutive Hours
A local farmer achieved what he calls ‘total enlightenment’ after fourteen hours of uninterrupted eye contact with a cornstalk.
Local Farmer Teaches Corn to Recognize Its Own Name, Now Refuses to Harvest It
A local farmer’s habit of naming every stalk in his cornfield has led to an emotional standoff that’s putting his harvest — and his finances — in serious jeopardy.
Local Farmer Achieves Enlightenment After Talking to Corn for Six Consecutive Hours
A Mapleton farmer claims six hours of one-sided conversation with his cornfield has left him more emotionally fulfilled than a decade of actual therapy.
Local Farm’s Organic Vegetables Reportedly Too Pretentious to Harvest
Heritage vegetables at local organic farm have become so pretentious they’re refusing to be harvested by anyone without proper credentials.