Local Man Demands Refund After Mars Vacation Turns Out to Be ‘Just Rocks’
A disappointed space tourist is demanding a refund after his Mars vacation package failed to deliver on promises of Martian nightlife and adventure.
September 2026
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Local Man’s Birdhouse Requires Load-Bearing Wall, Building Permit, Three Inspections
A weekend birdhouse project spirals into a multi-inspection construction saga complete with load-bearing walls and an HVAC system.
Local Man Discovers His $400 Jeans Have Been on Backwards for Six Months
A local man’s six-month fashion mistake raises uncomfortable questions about the true meaning of ‘directional denim.’
Local Squirrel Files Formal Complaint After Third Acorn Theft This Week, Demands Community Meeting
A neighborhood squirrel’s alleged acorn theft grievance escalates into what one birdwatcher calls a full-blown territorial dispute, complete with a spreadsheet and a hollow-log peace treaty.
Local Man Awarded Full Custody of Sourdough Starter in Bitter Divorce
A Springfield man wins full custody of his beloved sourdough starter in a divorce case legal experts call unprecedented.
Local Museum Adds Velvet Rope Around Bench So Visitors Stop Mistaking It For Art
A modern art museum discovers that visitors can no longer distinguish between actual exhibits and a bench meant for resting.
Local Man’s Dating Profile So Honest It Has Been Reported to the UN
A local man’s radically honest dating profile has sparked international concern and, oddly, a surge in matches.
Local Man Achieves Enlightenment After Realizing He’s Been Downloading the Same 400GB Update For Three Years
A Boise man says he’s found spiritual enlightenment after three years of watching his favorite game’s update bar refuse to finish.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Now Just a 45-Minute PowerPoint Presentation
A local man ditches the swipe-and-chat routine for a full slideshow presentation, complete with pie charts and footnotes, in his quest for love.
Local Scientists Discover Fish That Can Read, Immediately Regret Teaching It About Taxes
A groundbreaking literacy experiment on a carp named Gerald takes a dark turn once he discovers the concept of income tax.