Local Scientist Discovers Fourth Dimension Is Just Where All the Missing Socks Go
A physicist claims to have located the fourth dimension, and it’s exactly where you’d expect your missing socks to be.
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Local Man’s Attempt to Follow Recipe Results in Discovery of New State of Matter
A Springfield man’s cooking mishap has accidentally created a new state of matter that physicists say challenges the fundamental laws of physics.
Local Physicist Discovers Universe Actually Just Really Big Snow Globe on God’s Mantelpiece
Physicist claims groundbreaking research proves our entire universe exists inside a massive snow globe on God’s mantelpiece, complete with cosmic glitter and divine fingerprints.