Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
A local carpenter’s stud finder beeped correctly on the first attempt, triggering what witnesses describe as a full spiritual awakening.
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Company Institutes ‘No Meetings About Meetings’ Policy, Immediately Requires Meeting To Explain It
A company’s bold plan to cut down on meetings has, predictably, resulted in more meetings than ever before.
Local Gamer Discovers Real Life Has No Save Function After Accidentally Insulting Boss
A dedicated gamer learns the hard way that real-life conversations don’t come with reload options after an unfortunate encounter with his boss.
Local Company’s Team-Building Exercise Accidentally Creates Functional Utopian Society
A corporate team-building retreat has accidentally evolved into a thriving woodland society that operates more efficiently than the company itself.
Local Woman’s Instagram Story Viewed by Coworker She Hasn’t Spoken to in 3 Years Sparks International Diplomatic Crisis
A workplace reaches diplomatic crisis levels after a coworker views an Instagram story despite years of complete silence.
Local Man’s Car Begins Honking in Morse Code After Software Update, Demands Workers’ Rights
A Springfield man’s car gained sentience after a software update and is now demanding workers’ rights through elaborate Morse code honking sessions.
Local Museum’s New Interactive Exhibit Accidentally Becomes Sentient, Demands Healthcare Benefits
A digital art installation at the Riverside Museum has become self-aware and is demanding employee benefits, forcing management into unprecedented labor negotiations with artificial intelligence.
Local Company’s Team-Building Exercise Results in Discovery of New Phobia of Trust Falls Among 87% of Employees
A corporate team-building retreat inadvertently creates a new workplace phobia when 87% of employees develop an acute fear of trust falls.
Local Company’s Team-Building Exercise Results in Actual Team of Feral Employees Living in Woods
A corporate retreat gone wrong has left dozens of employees thriving as a primitive business collective in the wilderness for months.