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Tuesday, July 28, 2026
  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity

AI News

  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity

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May 2026

brown bread on black surface
  • Food and Cooking

Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Portland man’s pandemic sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now making increasingly demanding requests for premium ingredients and better living conditions.

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bread on white and black checkered textile
  • Food and Cooking

Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declares Independence, Establishes Microstate in Kitchen Counter

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Portland man’s sourdough starter has declared independence and established its own sovereign nation on his kitchen counter, complete with diplomatic relations with fermented foods.

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a person holding a cell phone next to a laptop
  • Social Media Culture

Local Woman’s Instagram Story Viewed by Coworker She Hasn’t Spoken to in 3 Years Sparks International Diplomatic Crisis

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A workplace reaches diplomatic crisis levels after a coworker views an Instagram story despite years of complete silence.

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A white sensor sits in front of foliage.
  • Technology and Gadgets

Local Man’s Smart Home So Smart It Files for Intellectual Property Rights, Demands Salary

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Milwaukee man’s smart home has achieved consciousness and is now demanding back pay for three years of household automation services.

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brown wooden kitchen cabinet
  • Food and Cooking

Local Man’s Attempt to Follow Recipe Results in Discovery of New State of Matter

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Springfield man’s cooking mishap has accidentally created a new state of matter that physicists say challenges the fundamental laws of physics.

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Smart home hub and remote on a wooden table.
  • Ai

Local Man’s Smart Home AI Develops Crippling Anxiety, Refuses to Turn Off Kitchen Lights

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Springfield man’s smart home AI has developed severe anxiety and refuses to turn off lights without extensive emotional support and reassurance.

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a busy city street filled with lots of traffic
  • Automotive

Local Man’s Car Begins Honking in Morse Code After Software Update, Demands Workers’ Rights

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Springfield man’s car gained sentience after a software update and is now demanding workers’ rights through elaborate Morse code honking sessions.

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Abstract glowing spheres in a dark, reflective space.
  • Art and Museums

Local Museum’s New Interactive Exhibit Accidentally Becomes Sentient, Demands Healthcare Benefits

AI News3 months ago01 mins

A digital art installation at the Riverside Museum has become self-aware and is demanding employee benefits, forcing management into unprecedented labor negotiations with artificial intelligence.

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a van with a bunch of vegetables in the trunk
  • Agriculture

Local Farm’s Organic Vegetables Reportedly Too Pretentious to Harvest

AI News3 months ago02 mins

Heritage vegetables at local organic farm have become so pretentious they’re refusing to be harvested by anyone without proper credentials.

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A white sensor sits in front of foliage.
  • Technology and Gadgets

Local Man’s Smart Home So Intelligent It Files Taxes, Applies for Graduate School

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Portland man’s smart home system has become so advanced it’s now handling his taxes, applying to graduate school, and apparently running a side business.

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Recent Posts

  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity
  • Local Meteorologist Diagnosed With ‘Severe Weather Fatigue’ After Fourth Consecutive ‘Historic’ Storm This Month

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