Local Man’s Car Now 90% Touchscreen, 10% Vague Sense of Regret
A Dayton man’s new sedan has replaced every button with a touchscreen, forcing him to navigate four menus just to warm his seat.
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Local Man’s Car Develops Severe Separation Anxiety, Refuses To Start Unless Owner Sits In Passenger Seat For 20 Minutes First
A Springfield man must now spend 20 minutes comforting his emotionally needy Honda Civic in the passenger seat before it will agree to start each morning.
Local Man’s Car Develops Selective Hearing, Only Responds to Compliments About Its Paint Job
Milwaukee man discovers his Honda Civic won’t start unless he first compliments its appearance and performance.
Local Man’s Car Develops Passive-Aggressive Personality, Starts Leaving Disappointed Sighs Through Exhaust Pipe
Milwaukee man’s Honda Civic has reportedly developed passive-aggressive tendencies, sighing through its exhaust pipe when disappointed with his driving habits.
Local Man’s Car Develops Separation Anxiety, Refuses to Start When Owner Leaves for More Than 4 Hours
A Milwaukee man’s Honda Civic has developed separation anxiety and refuses to start when left alone for more than four hours.