Local Elementary School Introduces ‘Mystery Meat Chemistry’ as Official STEM Curriculum
A local elementary school has officially rebranded its notoriously unidentifiable cafeteria lunches as a hands-on STEM chemistry curriculum.
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Local Man Achieves Inner Peace After Finally Admitting He Hates Cilantro
A local man reports newfound emotional clarity after publicly admitting his long-hidden hatred of cilantro.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Now Has More Life Goals Than He Does
A local man admits his sourdough starter has achieved more personal growth and consistency than he has in years.
Downtown Restaurant’s $340 Tasting Menu Revealed to Be Exact Same Foods Available at Costco Sample Stations
A city’s most exclusive restaurant faces scrutiny after its $340 tasting menu is revealed to be identical to free samples at a wholesale club.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Now Has More Life Goals Than He Does
A Boise man says his 14-month-old sourdough starter has developed more consistency, ambition, and personal growth than he has.
Local Man’s Attempt to Cook Elaborate Valentine’s Dinner Results in Fire Department, Hazmat Team, and Minor Diplomatic Incident
A romantic dinner attempt triggers emergency response teams and minor international confusion after amateur chef creates mysterious purple smoke and ‘new state of matter.’
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declared Sovereign Nation by International Community
A man’s sourdough starter has been granted international recognition as an independent nation following months of diplomatic tensions in his kitchen.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now organizing other fermented foods in a kitchen counter labor dispute.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions
A Portland man’s pandemic sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now making increasingly demanding requests for premium ingredients and better living conditions.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declares Independence, Establishes Microstate in Kitchen Counter
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has declared independence and established its own sovereign nation on his kitchen counter, complete with diplomatic relations with fermented foods.
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