Local Man’s AI Girlfriend Dumps Him for a Chatbot With Better Grammar
A Texas man’s AI girlfriend leaves him for a more grammatically gifted chatbot, sparking a growing national conversation about algorithmic heartbreak.
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Local Man’s ‘Quick Weekend Project’ Enters Its Third Fiscal Quarter
A Pelham Hills man’s simple plan to fix a squeaky cabinet hinge has ballooned into an eleven-week home renovation saga involving a mystery subfloor and an unexpected reciprocating saw.
Local Man Achieves Inner Peace After Realizing His Opinions Don’t Need To Be Posted
A local man stuns friends and family by going nearly two weeks without broadcasting a single unsolicited opinion online.
Local Man Visits Paris, Returns Home Fluent Only in Complaining About Portion Sizes
A Dayton man’s dream trip to Paris leaves him culturally unchanged but deeply radicalized on the subject of croissant sizes.
Local Man’s Birdhouse Project Enters Eighth Month, Now Requires Its Own Zip Code
A man’s simple birdhouse project has ballooned into a multi-balcony ‘manor’ that has consumed his garage, his savings, and his wife’s patience.
Local Man Creates 47-Tab Spreadsheet to Determine If Third Date Constitutes ‘Seeing Each Other’
Local man builds a 47-tab spreadsheet complete with a weighted probability index to determine whether he’s officially dating his girlfriend of three weeks.
Local Man Finally Beats Final Boss, Immediately Forgets Why He Was Playing Game in First Place
A local man defeats a 214-hour video game’s final boss and instantly realizes he has no idea what the plot was about.
Local Man Finally Beats Final Boss He’s Been Stuck On For Three Years, Immediately Forgets Why He Started Playing
A local man defeats a video game boss he’d been stuck on for three years, only to immediately forget the plot, the controls, and possibly his own name.
Local Man Demands Refund After Mars Vacation Turns Out to Be ‘Just Rocks’
A disappointed space tourist is demanding a refund after his Mars vacation package failed to deliver on promises of Martian nightlife and adventure.
Local Man Achieves Enlightenment After Realizing He’s Been Downloading the Same 400GB Update For Three Years
A Boise man says he’s found spiritual enlightenment after three years of watching his favorite game’s update bar refuse to finish.