Local Elementary School Introduces ‘Mystery Meat Chemistry’ as Official STEM Curriculum
A local elementary school has officially rebranded its notoriously unidentifiable cafeteria lunches as a hands-on STEM chemistry curriculum.
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Local Elementary School Replaces Recess With ‘Structured Disappointment Time’ to Better Prepare Kids for Adulthood
A local elementary school swaps recess for daily sessions of pointless waiting, calling it essential prep for the disappointments of adult life.
Local School District Replaces Textbooks with Motivational Posters, Test Scores Remain Exactly the Same
A local school district swaps textbooks for motivational posters, insisting eagles and mountain summits can teach algebra just as well as numbers.
Local School District Replaces All Homework With ‘Vibes-Based’ Grading System
A local school district ditches homework for a new grading system based entirely on students’ ‘vibes’ and hallway presence.