After 214 hours of gameplay spanning eight months, local accountant Greg Tilsen defeated the final boss of “Chronicles of Eldrath Vale” late Tuesday night, only to sit in stunned silence for eleven minutes before asking his empty apartment, “Wait, what was this game even about?”
Tilsen, 34, reportedly could not recall the main character’s name, the central conflict, or why he had spent the equivalent of nine full workdays grinding for a sword called the “Moonfang Reckoner.” According to witnesses, he simply stared at the victory screen as credits rolled, muttering the word “neat” before closing his laptop and going to bed at 1 a.m. on a Tuesday for no discernible reason.
“I remember there was a kingdom, and maybe a prophecy, and definitely a horse I named after my ex-girlfriend,” Tilsen said. “But somewhere around hour 150 it just became about numbers going up. The story could’ve been about sandwiches and I wouldn’t have noticed.”
Gaming behavior analyst Dr. Patricia Normandy of the Institute for Recreational Studies says Tilsen’s experience is alarmingly common. “We’re seeing a surge in what we call ‘narrative amnesia completion syndrome,’ where players finish 80-hour epics and can only describe them as ‘the one with the guy and the thing he had to stop,'” Normandy explained. “Tragically, this does not stop them from immediately pre-ordering the sequel.”
At press time, Tilsen had already downloaded a new 60-hour role-playing game, explaining that this one “looks like it actually has a good story,” while simultaneously admitting he skipped the opening cutscene to get to the part with the numbers.
