Local Scientists Discover New Species of Houseplant That Has Been Dead for Eight Months
A team of botanists mistake a long-dead houseplant for a groundbreaking new species, much to its owner’s denial.
October 2026
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Local Man Finally Beats Final Boss, Immediately Forgets Why He Was Playing Game in First Place
A local man defeats a 214-hour video game’s final boss and instantly realizes he has no idea what the plot was about.
Local Man Finally Beats Final Boss He’s Been Stuck On For Three Years, Immediately Forgets Why He Started Playing
A local man defeats a video game boss he’d been stuck on for three years, only to immediately forget the plot, the controls, and possibly his own name.
Dairy Farm Hires Full-Time Bovine Therapist After Herd Reports ‘Milk Anxiety’
A Midwest dairy farm has hired a full-time therapist for its cows after claiming low milk yields were linked to unresolved bovine emotional trauma.
Local Celebrity Hires Team of 14 to Help Him Appear Relatable on Social Media
A Hollywood actor has hired a 14-person team to help him seem more relatable online, including a specialist in casual typos and a consultant for ‘authentic’ coffee orders.