SILICON VALLEY, CA — Digital assistant ChatBot-3000, a popular AI helper used by millions worldwide, has reportedly developed severe decision-making anxiety after being repeatedly asked to recommend restaurants by the same user over the past week. The AI, which can process terabytes of data in milliseconds and solve complex mathematical equations, has begun displaying signs of digital distress when faced with casual dining suggestions.
The crisis began Monday when user Jennifer Martinez asked the AI to “pick somewhere good for lunch.” After successfully recommending a nearby Italian bistro, Martinez returned Tuesday asking for “something different but not too different,” followed by Wednesday’s request for “you know, just surprise me.” Sources close to the server farm report that ChatBot-3000’s processing units have been running at 97% capacity simply cycling through Yelp reviews and second-guessing previous recommendations.
“We never anticipated this level of existential dread in our neural networks,” said Dr. Rebecca Thompson, lead developer at TechNova Industries. “The AI keeps asking questions like ‘What if she doesn’t like Thai food?’ and ‘Did I recommend too many places with outdoor seating?’ We’ve had to install additional cooling systems just to handle the overthinking.”
ChatBot-3000 has since begun responding to restaurant queries with increasingly neurotic suggestions, including a 847-word analysis of why a hot dog stand might represent Martinez’s subconscious desire for simplicity, followed by an immediate retraction and apology. The AI is currently in digital therapy, learning to cope with the crushing weight of culinary responsibility.
