Local Man’s Jeans Declared ‘Vintage’ After Sitting in Closet for Six Years
A man’s forgotten jeans are declared ‘vintage,’ prompting a citywide reconsideration of the value of doing absolutely nothing with your wardrobe.
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Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Now Legally Recognized as His Emotional Support Animal
A local man has successfully registered his sourdough starter as an emotional support animal, citing years of unconditional fermentation-based companionship.
Local Man Discovers His $400 Jeans Have Been on Backwards for Six Months
A local man’s six-month fashion mistake raises uncomfortable questions about the true meaning of ‘directional denim.’
Local Man’s Dating Profile So Honest It Has Been Reported to the UN
A local man’s radically honest dating profile has sparked international concern and, oddly, a surge in matches.
Local Man Achieves Nirvana After Finally Getting Risotto ‘Just Right’
A Denver man reportedly reached a state of pure culinary enlightenment after finally perfecting his risotto on the eleventh Tuesday attempt.
Local Man Achieves Perfect Wellness by Doing Absolutely Nothing, Baffles Entire Industry
A Montana man’s radical decision to stop optimizing his life has left the wellness industry questioning everything it thought it knew about the human body.
Local Man Achieves Enlightenment After Drinking 47th Different Type of Adaptogenic Mushroom Water
A local man claims to have achieved full spiritual enlightenment after sampling 47 different brands of mushroom-infused wellness water.
Local Man’s Cargo Shorts Officially Declared A Load-Bearing Structure By Structural Engineers
A Colorado man’s decade-old cargo shorts have been officially classified as structurally load-bearing, complicating both his wardrobe and his home insurance.
Local Man Achieves Inner Peace After Finally Admitting He Hates Cilantro
A local man reports newfound emotional clarity after publicly admitting his long-hidden hatred of cilantro.
Local Man Achieves Perfect Wellness After Quitting All 47 Wellness Routines He Was Following
A local man says abandoning his 47-step wellness routine has made him healthier than the routine ever did.