Local Man’s AI Girlfriend Dumps Him for a Chatbot With Better Grammar
A Texas man’s AI girlfriend leaves him for a more grammatically gifted chatbot, sparking a growing national conversation about algorithmic heartbreak.
relationships
Read Full News
Local Man Creates 47-Tab Spreadsheet to Determine If Third Date Constitutes ‘Seeing Each Other’
Local man builds a 47-tab spreadsheet complete with a weighted probability index to determine whether he’s officially dating his girlfriend of three weeks.
Local Man’s Dating Profile So Honest It Has Been Reported to the UN
A local man’s radically honest dating profile has sparked international concern and, oddly, a surge in matches.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Now Just a 45-Minute PowerPoint Presentation
A local man ditches the swipe-and-chat routine for a full slideshow presentation, complete with pie charts and footnotes, in his quest for love.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Honest For First Time in History, Immediately Receives Zero Matches
A Portland man’s decision to create a completely honest dating profile has resulted in zero matches, baffling scientists and relationship experts worldwide.
Local Man’s Car Develops Severe Separation Anxiety, Refuses To Start Unless Owner Sits In Passenger Seat For 20 Minutes First
A Springfield man must now spend 20 minutes comforting his emotionally needy Honda Civic in the passenger seat before it will agree to start each morning.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Bio Reaches Critical Mass, Collapses Into Black Hole of Self-Awareness
A man’s overly complex dating profile bio has become so self-aware that scientists fear it may collapse into a singularity of existential dread.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Achieves Perfect Score of Zero Matches After Listing ‘Professional Couch Warmer’ as Career
Local bachelor achieves unprecedented feat of zero dating app matches after six months of what he calls ‘honest self-presentation.’
Local Man Discovers Girlfriend Has Been Secretly Optimizing Their Relationship Using Excel Spreadsheets
A Milwaukee woman’s secret Excel-based approach to relationship management leaves her boyfriend questioning the true meaning of romance and data-driven love.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Achieves Perfect Balance of Generic Hobbies and Manufactured Vulnerability
Area man spends 400 hours perfecting dating profile that expertly balances generic interests with calculated vulnerability to achieve maximum algorithmic appeal.
- 1
- 2