Local Woman’s Instagram Story Views Drop by Three, Declares Social Media ‘Dead to Her’
A Portland woman has sworn off social media forever after experiencing a catastrophic three-person drop in her Instagram story viewership.
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Local Woman Discovers She Can Experience Emotions Without Immediately Posting About Them
A local woman shocks her social circle by experiencing a full day of emotions without posting any of them online.
Local Tourist Discovers Vacation More Enjoyable When Not Documenting Every Second for Social Media
A tourist accidentally discovered the joy of experiencing a vacation without constantly photographing it for social media.
Local Woman’s Bathroom Mirror Reportedly Feeling Inadequate After Being Bypassed for 847th Selfie This Week
A bathroom mirror struggles with feelings of inadequacy as its owner chooses smartphone selfies over traditional reflection-based photography for the 847th time this week.
Local Museum’s New Interactive Exhibit Allows Visitors to Dramatically Misinterpret Art in Real Time
A new museum exhibit uses technology to showcase visitors’ hilariously incorrect interpretations of famous artworks.
Local Man’s Weather App Becomes Sentient, Demands Raise for Predicting Rain
A Springfield man’s weather application gained consciousness and is now demanding better working conditions and recognition for its forecasting services.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Bio Reaches Critical Mass, Collapses Into Black Hole of Self-Awareness
A man’s overly complex dating profile bio has become so self-aware that scientists fear it may collapse into a singularity of existential dread.
Local Man Discovers He’s Been Playing Tutorial for 847 Hours
A Milwaukee man spent over 800 hours perfecting the art of walking around before realizing he never left the game’s tutorial section.
Local Gamer Discovers Real Life Has No Save Function After Accidentally Insulting Boss
A dedicated gamer learns the hard way that real-life conversations don’t come with reload options after an unfortunate encounter with his boss.
Local Man Discovers He’s Been Playing Tutorial for Past 847 Hours
A dedicated gamer spent nearly 850 hours perfecting what turned out to be just the tutorial section of his favorite video game.