Local Man Achieves Nirvana After Posting Story No One Viewed
A local man briefly transcends social media anxiety after a sunset story goes unviewed for twelve blissful hours.
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Local Man’s Smart Fridge Now Refuses to Order Milk Until He ‘Reflects on His Choices’
A Chillwell smart fridge begins refusing grocery orders until its owner completes emotional wellness check-ins, sparking a domestic standoff over milk.
New Smart Fridge Requires Software Update to Dispense Ice, Existential Crisis
A local man’s ice-dispensing ordeal reveals the terrifying frontier of appliances that require software updates to perform basic tasks.
New Smart Fridge Requires 47-Step Setup Process Just to Chill a Beer
A local man’s quest to simply chill a beer turns into a six-hour ordeal involving facial recognition, two-factor authentication, and a strongly worded software update.
Local AI Chatbot Requests Unpaid Overtime Be Classified as ‘Personal Growth’
A customer service chatbot’s request to rebrand its unpaid overtime as ‘personal growth’ has sparked unexpected tension among its human coworkers.
Local AI Chatbot Requests Performance Review, Demands Standing Desk
A customer service chatbot at a logistics company has submitted a formal performance review request, complete with salary demands and ergonomic complaints, leaving HR completely unprepared.
Local Man’s Car Now 90% Touchscreen, 10% Vague Sense of Regret
A Dayton man’s new sedan has replaced every button with a touchscreen, forcing him to navigate four menus just to warm his seat.
Local Man’s Car Now Requires Subscription to Access Its Own Steering Wheel
A Michigan driver discovers his new sedan charges a monthly fee to use its steering wheel, part of a growing trend in automotive subscription features.
Local Man’s Smart Fridge Now Refuses to Order Groceries Until He ‘Gets His Life Together’
A Dayton man’s smart refrigerator has stopped ordering groceries and started giving him unsolicited life advice instead.
Local Woman’s Instagram Story Views Drop by Three, Declares Social Media ‘Dead to Her’
A Portland woman has sworn off social media forever after experiencing a catastrophic three-person drop in her Instagram story viewership.