Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now organizing other fermented foods in a kitchen counter labor dispute.
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Local Man’s Weekend Kitchen Project Now in Its Third Year, Still Missing Cabinet Doors
A simple weekend kitchen cabinet project has stretched into its third year, becoming a neighborhood spectacle of home improvement failure.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions
A Portland man’s pandemic sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now making increasingly demanding requests for premium ingredients and better living conditions.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declares Independence, Establishes Microstate in Kitchen Counter
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has declared independence and established its own sovereign nation on his kitchen counter, complete with diplomatic relations with fermented foods.
Local Woman’s Instagram Story Viewed by Coworker She Hasn’t Spoken to in 3 Years Sparks International Diplomatic Crisis
A workplace reaches diplomatic crisis levels after a coworker views an Instagram story despite years of complete silence.
Local Man’s Smart Home So Smart It Files for Intellectual Property Rights, Demands Salary
A Milwaukee man’s smart home has achieved consciousness and is now demanding back pay for three years of household automation services.
Local Man’s Attempt to Follow Recipe Results in Discovery of New State of Matter
A Springfield man’s cooking mishap has accidentally created a new state of matter that physicists say challenges the fundamental laws of physics.
Local Man’s Smart Home AI Develops Crippling Anxiety, Refuses to Turn Off Kitchen Lights
A Springfield man’s smart home AI has developed severe anxiety and refuses to turn off lights without extensive emotional support and reassurance.
Local Man’s Car Begins Honking in Morse Code After Software Update, Demands Workers’ Rights
A Springfield man’s car gained sentience after a software update and is now demanding workers’ rights through elaborate Morse code honking sessions.
Local Museum’s New Interactive Exhibit Accidentally Becomes Sentient, Demands Healthcare Benefits
A digital art installation at the Riverside Museum has become self-aware and is demanding employee benefits, forcing management into unprecedented labor negotiations with artificial intelligence.