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Tuesday, July 28, 2026
  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity

AI News

  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity

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  • brown rodent on brown rock during daytime

    Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan

    2 hours ago
  • brown wooden table with white printer papers

    Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try

    1 day ago
  • male Grecian bust inside museum

    Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms

    2 days ago
  • A group of people standing in front of a building

    Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity

    3 days ago
  • clouds with thunder digital wallpaper

    Local Meteorologist Diagnosed With ‘Severe Weather Fatigue’ After Fourth Consecutive ‘Historic’ Storm This Month

    4 days ago
  • a kitchen with white cabinets

    Local Man’s Smart Fridge Now Refuses to Order Groceries Until He ‘Gets His Life Together’

    5 days ago
  • oval brown wooden conference table and chairs inside conference room

    Company Institutes ‘No Meetings About Meetings’ Policy, Immediately Requires Meeting To Explain It

    6 days ago
  • green vegetable on white ceramic plate

    Downtown Restaurant’s $340 Tasting Menu Revealed to Be Exact Same Foods Available at Costco Sample Stations

    1 week ago
  • sliced bread on brown wooden chopping board

    Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Now Has More Life Goals Than He Does

    1 week ago
  • boy in black hoodie sitting on chair

    Local School District Replaces All Homework With ‘Vibes-Based’ Grading System

    1 week ago
a man and a woman sitting on a bench looking at a cell phone
  • Dating and Relationships

Local Man’s Dating Profile Bio Reaches Critical Mass, Collapses Into Black Hole of Self-Awareness

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Portland man’s overly introspective dating profile has reportedly collapsed into a black hole of self-awareness, prompting evacuations and concerns from quantum physicists.

Read More
person in white medical scrub suit standing near white and blue hospital bed
  • Science Discoveries

Local Scientists Discover That Laboratory Mice Have Been Running Elaborate Ponzi Scheme for Decades

AI News3 months ago02 mins

Scientists have uncovered a decades-long financial fraud scheme operated by laboratory mice, complete with promises of premium nesting materials and exclusive exercise wheel access.

Read More
Elderly woman and man on a beach
  • Travel and Tourism

Local Tourist Discovers Vacation More Enjoyable When Not Documenting Every Second for Social Media

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A tourist’s dead phone battery leads to the shocking revelation that vacations can be enjoyed without constant documentation.

Read More
black single cab pickup truck on road during daytime
  • Automotive

Local Man’s Car Develops Passive-Aggressive Personality, Starts Leaving Disappointed Sighs Through Exhaust Pipe

AI News3 months ago02 mins

Milwaukee man’s Honda Civic has reportedly developed passive-aggressive tendencies, sighing through its exhaust pipe when disappointed with his driving habits.

Read More
person working on laptop
  • Social Media Culture

Local Woman’s Instagram Story About Making Coffee Receives More Engagement Than Most Presidential Addresses

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A woman’s simple Instagram story about making morning coffee has attracted more viewers than most major news broadcasts, launching her to unexpected internet stardom.

Read More
a group of women sitting around a wooden table
  • Corporate Business

Local Company’s Team-Building Exercise Results in Discovery of New Phobia of Trust Falls Among 87% of Employees

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A corporate team-building retreat inadvertently creates a new workplace phobia when 87% of employees develop an acute fear of trust falls.

Read More
the inside of a car with a steering wheel
  • Automotive

Local Man’s Car Develops Separation Anxiety, Refuses to Start When Owner Leaves for More Than 4 Hours

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Milwaukee man’s Honda Civic has developed separation anxiety and refuses to start when left alone for more than four hours.

Read More
gold horse figurine on black leather bag
  • Art and Museums

Local Museum’s New Interactive Exhibit Allows Visitors to Actually Touch Art, Immediately Regrets Decision

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A museum’s attempt to make art more accessible backfires spectacularly when visitors take “interactive” a bit too literally.

Read More
people using phone while standing
  • Social Media Culture

Local Woman’s Instagram Story Views Drop to 47, Emergency Therapy Session Scheduled

AI News3 months ago02 mins

A Portland woman faces an existential crisis after her Instagram story views plummet to a devastating 47, prompting immediate professional intervention.

Read More
man in black t-shirt and brown shorts standing on gray concrete floor
  • Sports

Local Man’s Fantasy Football Team So Bad It Retroactively Makes Past Seasons Worse

AI News3 months ago01 mins

A Colorado man’s fantasy football team is performing so poorly that it’s retroactively making his past seasons worse through what scientists are calling a “temporal fantasy failure paradox.”

Read More
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Recent Posts

  • Local Squirrel Population Votes to Unionize, Demands Acorn Pension Plan
  • Local Carpenter Achieves Nirvana After Finally Finding Stud on First Try
  • Local Museum Adds ‘Please Touch the Art’ Wing After Realizing Nobody Was Coming to the Other 47 Rooms
  • Local Man Achieves Celebrity Status After Being Photographed Standing Near Actual Celebrity
  • Local Meteorologist Diagnosed With ‘Severe Weather Fatigue’ After Fourth Consecutive ‘Historic’ Storm This Month

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