Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Achieves Sentience, Demands Better Living Conditions
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has gained consciousness and is now organizing other fermented foods in a kitchen counter labor dispute.
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Local Man’s Weekend Kitchen Project Now in Its Third Year, Still Missing Cabinet Doors
A simple weekend kitchen cabinet project has stretched into its third year, becoming a neighborhood spectacle of home improvement failure.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declares Independence, Establishes Microstate in Kitchen Counter
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has declared independence and established its own sovereign nation on his kitchen counter, complete with diplomatic relations with fermented foods.
Local Man Discovers Cooking Shows Not Actually Sufficient Substitute for Actual Cooking Skills
Three years of binge-watching cooking shows failed to prevent local man from creating what witnesses described as “aggressively sad vegetables” during his first actual cooking attempt.
Local Man’s Sourdough Starter Declares Independence, Establishes Autonomous Kitchen Zone
A Portland man’s sourdough starter has formally declared independence from his kitchen, demanding sovereignty and recruiting other fermented foods to join its rebellion.