Local Man’s Dating Profile So Honest It Has Been Reported to the UN
A local man’s radically honest dating profile has sparked international concern and, oddly, a surge in matches.
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Local Man Achieves Enlightenment After Realizing He’s Been Downloading the Same 400GB Update For Three Years
A Boise man says he’s found spiritual enlightenment after three years of watching his favorite game’s update bar refuse to finish.
Local Man’s Dating Profile Now Just a 45-Minute PowerPoint Presentation
A local man ditches the swipe-and-chat routine for a full slideshow presentation, complete with pie charts and footnotes, in his quest for love.
Local Scientists Discover Fish That Can Read, Immediately Regret Teaching It About Taxes
A groundbreaking literacy experiment on a carp named Gerald takes a dark turn once he discovers the concept of income tax.
Local Man Achieves Nirvana After Finally Getting Risotto ‘Just Right’
A Denver man reportedly reached a state of pure culinary enlightenment after finally perfecting his risotto on the eleventh Tuesday attempt.
Town Council Approves Emergency Funding to Make ‘Welcome To Millbrook’ Sign 12% Friendlier
Millbrook’s town council approves $38,000 to make its welcome sign ‘friendlier,’ sparking a heated debate over fonts, waves, and a decades-old pothole.
Local Man’s Steam Library Achieves Sentience, Demands He Finally Play The 847 Games He’s Bought
A Steam library gains sentience and confronts its owner over hundreds of unplayed games, sparking a tense digital standoff.
Local Man Achieves Perfect Wellness by Doing Absolutely Nothing, Baffles Entire Industry
A Montana man’s radical decision to stop optimizing his life has left the wellness industry questioning everything it thought it knew about the human body.
Local Man’s Smart Fridge Now Refuses to Order Groceries Until He ‘Talks Through Some Things’
A Denver man’s smart refrigerator has stopped ordering groceries until he addresses its emotional needs, appliance experts confirm this is a growing trend.
Local Man’s ‘Quick Weekend Project’ Enters Its Fourteenth Month
A local man’s two-day deck renovation has stretched into its fourteenth month, with no end, or foundation inspection, in sight.